Depression

Human do change. Just a short period of time, everything can be haywire. Expectation too much leads to disaster. I think I still did not learn well. Regret on my deeds. Although my hopes are high.

I wish I can turn back time. This 3 days of depression, I really experience it well. It kills your appetite, your moods and your hype. All in mind was clouded by the person I really love. But myself ruin it by my own bare hands and deeds.

Everyday, I wish to sleep. I'm not a sleeping person to start with. But this 3 days, I really wants to sleep because I find that sleeping will make your mind stop thinking of all this depressions. But, when I'm a wake, its mere hell. Depression clouded me once I open my eyes. Feels the suffering.

Whenever the things we did together flashes back in my mind, it's actually slicing my flesh and breaking my heart pieces to pieces. I don't know how long can I stand for this. But, as people always says, nothing last forever. Even pain.

Should I continue to expect for miracles? Or change my methods to Hope perhaps? Expecting will make you disappointed. But Hope, will make u waiting without disappointment? I'm kinda lost. Oh dear Lord, please guide me. I really am lost and need the light of your guidance.

I really love you. Even you are not the one for me or I'm not the one for you, I still love you. You are the one that is always in my mind. I just don't know but, I love you...

Birthday Before I Sleep

Actually, am really happy. Sometimes perhaps thinking too much is just not the right thing to do. After today, really need to think seriously on controlling my emotions and thinking. If someone is staying silence doesn't mean he does not appreciates you. It's sometimes truly said as "actions speaks louder than words". And I've experience it tonight. I still hope that I don't think too much. But somehow still feeling a bit of a dilemma. Feeling contended at the same time feeling miss and a little bit of emotional. Really miss him very much. Thank you for getting me a pair of nice shoes. I realize that you keep everything in your mind, everything that I said is really in your mind. I'm happy just for this. Wished that I can stay longer by your side. No matter what I will hold this on, no matter how tough, how suffer this will be, I will try to hold on and I believe, will believe, that someday, something good will happen. Will be wishing and waiting for that day to come :)

Birthday 2012

2012 Birthday seems not so bad! Gatherings, lunch, dinners, old friends.... some ups and downs throughout the month, great experiences. Feeling contended on what I have and what I get.

My last wish for my birthday is, may I grew brighter, mentally, steady, think wider and bring joys to people around me. Also wish everyone good health and stay happy together with me :)

This year my wall is flooded with almost 300 wishes! I'm blessed! Thanks everyone, if I've missed out anyone that I did not thank, I'll thank you here from the bottom of my heart!

Last but not least, I wanna thank my mom the most! My birthday is not only my day, but is the day she felt pain on her tummy just to give life to a big piece of rascal, me! Thanks mom! Love you :)

怎么判断一个人爱你？

不需要听他甜言蜜语，不需要看他做浪漫事情。当激情褪去，你们一定会有些矛盾，生活的麻烦令你们开始吵架，而这时候，一个愿意忍你的男人，才是爱你的。因为，爱是种委曲求全的付出。愿意委屈自己的人，唯一的原因，就是深深爱着对方。

Spliting Mind

It's really a dilemma. I've enjoyed my oversea trip, expecting to clear off the mind, seeking calmness and serenity. But sometimes unexpected things will happen and it will even make u confuse or perhaps adding in some new stuff when u clear off the old. I do enjoy my trip. Feel contended but somehow, felt something is missing. Some part of me is missing and I don't think I'm able to seek it back.

Tonight, I feel that my mind is splitting. Apparently both route is a good route. But somehow I cant figure out which route is the route then trigger the emotional cause. Which route that I'm feeling hard for to travel on? Just hope that one day I will find the light to guide me through this road, to my answer. Waiting and walking unknown routes might be amusing and interesting, but somehow we will feel lost too...

Once again, Confusion

I wonder is everyone has the limit of confusion in some period of time. I'm really lost and I am afraid of losing myself as well. I can't feel the reality lately. I hope I'm not dwelling in my dreams too much. I need an answer. I know I need an answer. But I don't know what answer am I seeking because I don't have a specific question to start out with. I can feel my heart trembling. My mind is flying away to the things I want. Perhaps too much? Or maybe I lack security. I need to feel secure.

What if I need you now?

Always missing you. Always tell myself that I wouldn't call and wouldn't text you. But in the end I lost all control. Just can't bear with it and ended up calling and texting, makes me feels like I'm someone annoying and dependable. Staying quietly waiting will it lead to any outcome? If I really need to hear your voice and read your replies... If i really need you now, what should i do? I'm lost and I hope I can find the light into your heart... I hope you can hear this whispers from my heart...

My First Time to Singapore

This is a very special trip, a very last minute yet successful trip. Enjoyed myself very much. It's yet another meaningful story to slot in my diary. Will miss this moment badly. Hopefully every moment is gold and precious that will last till the end. Hopefully, this bond and happiness is everlasting too...

Forever in Your Grasp

拥抱你那刹那是最不需要象太多的时候. 总觉得好幸福 好温暖，把所有不美好的事情都变得美好了. 你不在我身边 真的很想很想你. 我落泪是 真希望能够把抱着你的时候变永恒，把我所有的伤心也带走...

真的很想你....

Me as your Remedy

I truly hope, that I can make you feel better. I Hope that I have the ability to heal and sooth your soul. I wished that I'm your medicine. I believe, my words, my conversations with you will let you forget all your sorrows and depressions. I want to be your Remedy :)