On Air

Saturday, April 07, 2012


Human do change. Just a short period of time, everything can be haywire. Expectation too much leads to disaster. I think I still did not learn well. Regret on my deeds. Although my hopes are high.

I wish I can turn back time. This 3 days of depression, I really experience it well. It kills your appetite, your moods and your hype. All in mind was clouded by the person I really love. But myself ruin it by my own bare hands and deeds.

Everyday, I wish to sleep. I'm not a sleeping person to start with. But this 3 days, I really wants to sleep because I find that sleeping will make your mind stop thinking of all this depressions. But, when I'm a wake, its mere hell. Depression clouded me once I open my eyes. Feels the suffering.

Whenever the things we did together flashes back in my mind, it's actually slicing my flesh and breaking my heart pieces to pieces. I don't know how long can I stand for this. But, as people always says, nothing last forever. Even pain.

Should I continue to expect for miracles? Or change my methods to Hope perhaps? Expecting will make you disappointed. But Hope, will make u waiting without disappointment? I'm kinda lost. Oh dear Lord, please guide me. I really am lost and need the light of your guidance.

I really love you. Even you are not the one for me or I'm not the one for you, I still love you. You are the one that is always in my mind. I just don't know but, I love you...

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Birthday Before I Sleep

Actually, am really happy. Sometimes perhaps thinking too much is just not the right thing to do. After today, really need to think seriously on controlling my emotions and thinking. If someone is staying silence doesn't mean he does not appreciates you. It's sometimes truly said as "actions speaks louder than words". And I've experience it tonight. I still hope that I don't think too much. But somehow still feeling a bit of a dilemma. Feeling contended at the same time feeling miss and a little bit of emotional. Really miss him very much. Thank you for getting me a pair of nice shoes. I realize that you keep everything in your mind, everything that I said is really in your mind. I'm happy just for this. Wished that I can stay longer by your side. No matter what I will hold this on, no matter how tough, how suffer this will be, I will try to hold on and I believe, will believe, that someday, something good will happen. Will be wishing and waiting for that day to come :)

Birthday 2012

2012 Birthday seems not so bad! Gatherings, lunch, dinners, old friends.... some ups and downs throughout the month, great experiences. Feeling contended on what I have and what I get.

My last wish for my birthday is, may I grew brighter, mentally, steady, think wider and bring joys to people around me. Also wish everyone good health and stay happy together with me :)

This year my wall is flooded with almost 300 wishes! I'm blessed! Thanks everyone, if I've missed out anyone that I did not thank, I'll thank you here from the bottom of my heart!

Last but not least, I wanna thank my mom the most! My birthday is not only my day, but is the day she felt pain on her tummy just to give life to a big piece of rascal, me! Thanks mom! Love you :)

Sunday, March 18, 2012